My displaced mother tongue

I was born into a Bengali family. My parents and theirs were all Bengalis and probably the ones before them too. Surprisingly though, I could always understand the language without being able to speak it grammatically right.

In these days we live in mixed times. A diverse country like India has different state languages, not all of which are easy to master.
Since I didn't really grow up in the state my ancestors came from, I was always an outsider to my own culture. Not that it mattered because while growing up other priorities came first anyway.

Today, when people ask me What I am, (in India, you are defined by your state, religion and of course mother tongue to some extent) I don't like to answer "Bengali". Aptly so, I can't read the language nor write it. I can understand it but speak it like a Spanish immigrant speaking Polish. This doesn't affect me or the way I feel about being Bengali, but it definitely makes me conscious in some way.

So I coined a new term for myself. I call myself a Maharashtrian Bengali now. Someone who grew up in the vast state of Maharashtra but never in Bengal. In tribute to someone who understands the language of the Maharashtrians just as well but again, can't speak it. Why? Well because I wasn't Maharashtrian, I always thought it made no sense to learn the state language either.

So now it all comes down to me and What I am. When people ask me now, it's with a sense of confusion. How can someone be from somewhere and speak only English when she's Indian.

Indians have always been considered to be multi-lingual. That is of course a direct influence of being born in one state and growing up in another and coming from a family that spoke another tongue altogether.

At the end of the day, I suffice it's enough to call yourself human, isn't it? I mean, language isn't really a barrier unless you make it out to be.