It’s always about how the bride looked.

That beauty and brains can go together is a fact that is more a myth for most people. Although there are several famous and at the same time, beautiful people in the world, even accomplished ones with brawn, what’s sad is that people still expect beauty for girls especially to be the final it. Let’s talk about India. In India, during a typical Indian wedding, it’s important for a bride to look her best. Yes, just like in other countries. However, in most countries too, people only want to remember how the bride looked on her wedding day. Everyone’s curiosity usually revolves around how the bride looked, what she wore... No one bothers about her. The real her. Her life. What she’s done. Who she wants to be. Because, to our minds, it doesn’t matter. It’s always about how she looked and whether she looked good and if so then how good she looked.
Try it out. Miss out on a common friend’s wedding, be it a male or female companion and ask your mutual friends how the wedding was. Answers will first revolve around the bride’s physical appearance, her attire, her jewelery and then if at all on the food and drinks.

That beauty is skin deep is a fact. That people don’t believe it is the truth. Most of us would love to choose partners based on their looks and yes of course their material capability. That looks fade with time is given. But how many people care?

There’s pressure put on women everywhere, to look good. To charm. To flatter. To seduce. We therefore become indebted to the expectations. To looking after our bodies like we were models although we aren’t. We spend hours in the groom room to look good. To wax. Or shave. To shape brows. To paint nails. To wear the right dress. Men are accepted when they are unkempt. A woman never is.
Society is good for culture. But again, too much of one thing can never be a good thing, can it? Society gave us cosmetics and the cosmetic culture. And now they believe more in our looks than our talent. Than us. They say, if you look good, you feel great. Really? Is that what it’s come to?

If I were king of the world, just for one day, I’d ban beauty pageants. It’s a start. And I’d go to a wedding wishing to know the bride. Not just her pretty face.
The fact remains; it’s not beauty that’s skin deep. It’s us. We are all superficial, in one way or another.

The endless world we hold onto…that lies in our desk drawer

Every time I get a long weekend I like to bury my head in all the things I own and reduce the junk that has collected over time. It is so easy to add to your collection of things and so hard to get rid of it. There is a very thin line between what’s useful and what isn’t and then again, what should be held onto.

Take the test. Try opening your simply work table drawer and clear everything from the bits of paper in it to the pins and notes in it. You are bound to feel a certain kind of energy oozing out from your locked endeavors.

Every animal, every specie likes to collect. Dogs like to hide things they find interesting. They dig up the bare soil and hide their find. People store it away, behind cupboards, behind drawers, in trunks, even the basement. Rats store things too, from bottle caps to lose paper.

Any similarity? A lot. Humans are not that different. The reason we store is because we like to hold onto things. We attach sentimental value to everything we touch, feel and see. And in a sense, it adds to waste. Our own waste and the world’s. Imagine what it’d be like if you were to give away everything you hadn’t used in over a year. Not only would you have a lot more place in which to store things, you’d rid yourself of things you thought you needed but didn’t. That old tee shirt. Replace it with the new. Even if it is precious to you. Because, you have one life to live and you cannot leave life with your tee shirt. That old shoe. Those worn out jeans. Although there is a sentimental treasure in everything, it’s not real treasure.

And the minute you stop holding on, you are bound to be feel so much lighter. So much more carefree. This feeling of attached by being detached will help. Help when you need it the most.

If what I’m saying doesn’t make sense, try it. Throw out those worn out sneakers. Get a new pair. You’ll feel bad for a while…and then suddenly, just like the afternoon sun you will feel as bright as a summer day.

To adopt or not to adopt

I was at a social gathering the other day when I met a woman who had one thing in common with me.

We were talking about our lives, our dreams and our worlds when I asked her if she’d ever like to bring in another child into this world. (She already is a mother of a fantastic 6 year old). Her answer, for someone who has lived in India her whole life was very impressive, according to me at least. She said she’d like to adopt another child and that she and her husband had already registered with an orphanage to initiate the process.

I have always wanted to adopt a child, ever since I can remember. The urge to adopt especially started getting stronger once I started working and earning my own living. I always felt that it made sense to work for the better of someone else, especially someone who is helpless and would benefit largely by my support. I mean, what good is what I do if I can’t make a significant difference at least to one person while I’m here?

However, in India…adopting children is not considered to be a socially acceptable norm in most places. If couples choose to adopt here, people socially believe it’s because the couple is having problems conceiving their own child. Although this is probably true in most cases, the point is that adoption shouldn’t be a last option for people who want kids.

It should be seen as a socially positive action wherein the little lives of young ones can be changed, for the better. In life, they say it pays to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. So, put yourself in the shoes of a child who has nothing literally. Isn’t it only fair that the lot of us who are better off contribute to them. And thus eventually to society as a whole in a way?

I personally believe that adopting a child is the greatest thing one can do. To offer your undying and unconditional love to someone who is not really yours and to take a pledge to look after them, their needs and wants throughout their life is a heroic act.

I’d love to eventually adopt at least one child. Just so I can change things for the better. For that one person. It would make me happy to make that child happy.

What I ask is the point of it all if you can’t change things for the better after all?

Old Age

In life, old age is the only thing that should bring you down. Nothing else ever should. Why do I think so?

Well, because the other day I chanced upon a severely aged man hobbling across the main road, trying to beat the rushing traffic and to sit in the public transport vehicle I was in. He probably needed to get to someplace and had no one to help him. His face was wrinkled. His clothes too. He supported himself with a cane and a limp and managed to hobble slowly across the road somehow.

When he finally reached the vehicle, he slowly sat down, only to spend the next few minutes looking for change to pay the driver. His face showed the years, the life and struggles he lived. Basic movements were an obstacle. Life itself probably was too.

In life, when you can’t even get up and pour yourself a glass of water with ease…that’s when the trouble starts.
The point is, no matter what the struggle one must go through in this magical life, nothing can not be beaten. We as humans can overcome everything – from handicaps to penniless days. The only thing we can never, ever beat no matter how hard we might try is age.

Natural though it is to age…it’s the way your body turns on you that makes the difference. That’s why they invented the words “ageing gracefully…” not many of us age gracefully. That’s because we don’t live our lives well enough to.

Stay true to you. Let all else fall.

That day, as I observed this old man struggling with the basic movements needed to get through a normal sunny day, I wondered, what would it be like to be old. To be unable to walk straight. Or without help. To become forgetful. To stop being me.

It would be frightful. Simply because nothing will be in my hand anymore. I’d need to rely on external help for every little thing I need to do and that to me is the worst situation in life.

That is why the “now” is all the more precious. I’ll never be 26 again. In fact, I’ll never be here again.

So, although old age is the worst thing life has to offer, youth is the best.

So Live. Like you won’t again. And revel in the spirit of life.