Being my first post for the New Year, there really isn't much I want to say because my focus has shifted. Rather, my focus hasn't shifted, it's just been put through trying times recently.
I was always a loner by nature. It's not like I had a dearth of friends. I had a few good friends, still do and some more who are plain associates. However, I rarely find myself content when in a group of people. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I hate socializing or anything. It's just that I connect with fewer people at a time, if I do at all.
I somehow never wondered about this until recently. As an Indian girl, married into a severely traditional Bengali-Indian family I am expected to do things my otherwise bohemian mind may not approve of. It's during the time when the expectation became vocal that I realized how important being alone is to be you.
When you are part of a family that is yours but not really yours, in today's times it is hard to accept what in the old days you "had to". Further on, when a family is so rooted and hell bent on holding on instead of letting go, you realize that you can't always be what you want or simply breathe.
Sometimes, ties that bind can turn into a drastic weight, I believe. I also believe that it is good to have such strong ties, but only to an extent.
In life, you are born as one. And you die as one. There is a reason for that. Although you are born into a family, a brood, you are still meant to face your battles alone, for a reason. As humans, we can't be a pact without knowing how to be solitary bearers of our own life and destiny.
As the New Year begins and rings in change with every day it gives me, I hold onto a thought I have become fond of, off late - It takes solitude to be you.
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