The Shackles of Society

One of the reasons I find that I'm at my best when I'm alone is because of the space I get, to think. I do of course like my usual group of close knit people once every way. But in all, I value my time alone like I do a bottle of wine on a cold winter night.

Society has always displeased me. Being an Indian by birth with a mindset that wanders, I've often wondered WHY people in a country so torn between wanting to progress and yet hold onto tradition is so entwined in the web of "what will they think"? I'm probably one of the many who form this web, on occasion. But I thrive not to live by it. 

A lot of my present day elders believe that the sole reason a majority of Indian youngsters are getting divorced at faster rates than choosing to marry is because of a lack of tolerance. After deliberate thought, I've come to reason that this is not the case, necessarily.

You see, in the older days, women were subdued. If you were to ask your mothers, and their mothers if they were ever completely happy... they would shy away from answering. Women were expected to do, not what they wanted but what they were told. They were expected all throughout these several years to be what   their mothers were and their grandmothers before them. The general nature of a woman's presence in those days and maybe in certain cases even now assured a warm meal at dinnertime, a clean house and happy children. Was the woman ever asked what she wanted? Rarely. Was she given the chance to share her opinion. Hardly. Was she allowed to do the same things men were. Far from reality. 

In today's time on the other hand, when marriages break, when people choose to live apart, the main suspect is the woman, still. Why? Just because she now wants to breathe, have her say, probably not cook four warm meals a day but go out into the world and do something that makes her feel like someone. The woman  of today and in some ways entire generation of today is trying hard to find a balance, because there was a grave imbalance created by the shackles of society, till now.

Ask yourself. Why do most Indian men want a girl with long plain hair? Why do they still want someone who can cook, who can take care of their parents and subdue her own needs? Because, like us, they were taught to expect just this.

Modern cities have in the recent years tried to break away from these chains. But no one is ready to accept the follies of our elderly. While there was a pro in all of this in some way, there was definitely a great big con in it too.

On the same note, I question the theory of joint families, a system so rampant in our nation...that today people wish to live in a nuclear set-up just for the peace. How can you expect, realistically, 3 or 4 different generations of people to co-exist without a war? In the line we drew as a people, we forgot to see clearly. We forgot to see and understand the changing trends of the natural human mindset. One that has to happen in order to allow the world to move forward.

As a nation, or more particularly as an observer, I often see the cracks in our shackles. Of course, the imbalance today is practically ruining the sanctity of marriage, pure love, respect and relationships.

But, I really wonder...till the last generation. Was it really ever there? Weren't our parents and theirs just living the life laid out by what their elders told them.

And now, if the new world wants to ask questions because there were never any real answers to begin with, is it really fair to point and throw the blame?

I never supported a lot of things society laid down. I never understood why and how a people, a population can be so intertwined and introvert enough to shun everything first before they grew the heart to accept change.

The shackles of society that tried to bind families and people till today is exactly what's tearing us apart. Day after day.