The doting eyes of pure, pure love

In this life, this modern age of failing relationships, flings and casual affairs, it is extremely difficult to find pure love. Maybe that is where we all go wrong. We look for something that isn't there anymore.

Since time immemorial,  Love has been the single most deadliest emotion that has brought people to their feet and probably broken every hope or dream they had, even if only for a short phase of their life. Of course, on the contrary Love can also give you new highs...but in reality does it ever last?

Today, this very evening. I experienced love. Or rather, what it should be and isn't.

The Regiment my army husband is from hosted a small get together this evening for a young woman who was married to a Regimental officer of the unit. The officer lost his life in a severe road accident, 4 years ago.
As fellow unit members, everyone bled to hear of the loss, all those months ago. Everyone felt immense sorrow and pain. But a rule of nature states and I strongly stand by it, in times of sorrow, pain or happiness...you cannot even begin to imagine what is going on in the victim's or his and her supporters or family member's minds. You can only empathize but sadly that is just not enough.

This young woman wanted to dedicate a small trophy to the Regiment in her late husband's honour and that is why she was visiting the unit today.

Today, as the young woman tried to speak about her deceased life partner, her eyes welled up. Not with sorrow and pain. The tears were tears signifying so much more. When you speak about someone you love who isn't there anymore, it isn't sadness after all this time. It's regret. It's a nagging guilt. It's an emotion that we haven't been able to name yet. No, humans identified what pain, grief and sorrow was. But they haven't identified this feeling...this feeling of loss, of love, of remembrance,  of anguish, of wanting and need all meshed up together.

How easy is it to be a widow in your late 20's with a small child after all?

And then, as I observed her tears and heart give way, I glanced across at her father who had accompanied her for the painful task of visiting a unit that once was her home when she had her husband with her.

Her father, who stood quietly at the other end of the room looked at her with the care and concern, the worry and pain only an understanding parent and doting one can have. Those eyes looked at her when she wasn't looking just to see if his daughter would be alright. But we all know, she is far from being alright.

Those eyes, that secret glance, the strong image of a full six foot man just checking to see. Those doting eyes of pure, pure love. That is what we all aim to have and often have but can't see or often never get and won't ever.
Because, somewhere down the line we forgot what it is like to really care and love along the way.
It's not about love anymore. Everywhere we go. We look. But love...real love...it hardly exists even if it does.